"Why unicorns?" you may be asking. Well...really don't have a definitive answer for you. My interest in them began many years ago, for no reason I can recall. Actually, unicorns are the antithesis of the person I am now. Perhaps that is the very reason why I find myself drawn to them. They embody so many attributes I wish I could call my own:  innocence, gentleness, magic, wisdom. Especially the innocence, I believe. I'm the product of a childhood that did not include much of that. As a result, I learned to survive by distancing myself from negative emotions. Think my belief in unicorns is my way of trying to regain what was lost in my childhood. Children are known for their willingness to believe in goodness and magic. Unable to do so since a very early age, my interest now may be a reflection of my desire to return to a time in my life when I could believe in such things.

Amazingly, in one of the unicorn books I own, discovered a statement by the author that he believes that sexually abused children are initially attracted to the unicorn's healing aspects. He said their fascination "may be linked to their trying to heal themselves. Abuse robs children of their innocence, childhood and purity. A violent act, abuse kills the child on some level."

Guess it just took me a lot longer to discover this aspect of the unicorn. When I read that it hit me like a ton of bricks:  So that's why the unicorns began speaking to me! For so many years I'd blocked out my feelings (and still do) and they felt I needed a way to regain a part of myself. Talk about powerful unicorn magic!  WOW!!!

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Believe that all things are possible? No, actually I don't. But I very much want to. And, so, the unicorns came into my life. They have provided me with a means to express my inner child in a non-threatening way. They symbolize all I wish I could have grown up to be. The person I am today is not much of an optimist. I tend to be fairly logical and to view life with the eyes of a cynic. Certainly unicorns should have no place in the life of such an individual. But they've managed to speak to my inner self, to try to give me back that part of myself that is able to trust and believe in the essential goodness of people and of life itself.

Some basic facts about me:

• Am now "60 something" and still counting (turn 64 in July 2006 for those who really want to know). Funny . . . I don't feel the way I thought I was going to feel when I reached this ripe old age! Amazing what a difference the passing of the years has made in my perspective on aging. At 20 I was so certain that being 60 meant I would be near the end of my life. And though I'm much closer to that point than I was back then, don't mind it as much as I thought I would. Somehow our bodies tend to age so much faster than our minds.

• In February, 2001, retired from my full-time job as principal's secretary at a large San Diego area high school—a job I absolutely loathed. I was "involuntarily" transferred to that position in 1997 as the result of yet another reorganization in the school district I worked for and school board "politics."

• Divorced for many (25) years. Considering my history of childhood trauma, that shouldn't surprise anyone. 

• Have two sons, both grown and married. Both are great kids and managed to get themselves grown up without getting into any of the troubles that afflict so many of our young people today.

My oldest son and his wife—Keith and Brenda.
They live in Fort Washington, Maryland

My younger son and his wife—Kenny and Samantha (Sam)
They live in Southern California near San Diego.

• No grandchildren as yet, and none on the horizon at this time. Which is fine with me. This world has more than enough people already. Think these two are going to be about as close as I get to "grandchildren."

These "kids" are the babies of my oldest son and daughter-in-law.

• Well...the above note about grandchildren was true up until early 2003. After 14 years, my younger son and his wife discovered they were going to have a baby!! Believe me, we were all in shock when it was confirmed. When they called me to tell me about it, they were nearly hysterical with joy. They had given up on having a child a long time ago. They said they asked the doctor to do the tests twice to make sure it wasn't a mistake.

Baby was due at the end of September. There was some concern as Sam was over 35 so this was considered a high risk pregnancy.

In early September 2003 traveled to California to be with them for the birth of the baby. And, as babies are known to do, she took her sweet time getting into the world. I was there almost a month before she arrived—had planned it to be about two weeks. They finally decided to induce labor and then ended up having to do a C-section. But all went well with both mother and daughter. My granddaughter, Lisa Ann Miracle, made her arrival on October 7, 2003. My son started calling her Mira before she was born and that nickname has stuck. She weighed in at 6 lbs. 7 ozs and was about 19" long. She was amazingly beautiful right away. Partly due to not having to undergo the stress of a normal birth.

I am her "Grams" and I call her "My Little Pumpkin". Partly because she was born in the month of Halloween and partly ... just because I liked the sound of it when she was a newborn. Guess I wanted my own pet name for her.

It sure is nice having a little girl in the family. Have two brothers and two sons so have been around males for most of my life. We're all surprised it wasn't a boy because they really do run in our family tree. I'm especially happy for my daughter-in-law as she lost her sister Lisa some years ago and Mira is named after her.

• Lived in San Diego area until March, 2001. Moved there in 1987 from Las Vegas. Before that called the San Francisco Bay Area, Arizona and Ohio home, with the greater part of my childhood spent in the San Francisco Bay Area (1950 - 1978). Am now a resident of Gadsden, Alabama.

Am still amazed by all the trees around here. Everywhere you look, there's a tree. They are of many varieties and all beautiful. Some of the trees in the older residential neighborhoods are absolutely huge. In places they nearly meet in the middle of the street and it's like driving through a tunnel of leaves. In 2001 experienced my first real winter season for the first time since I left Germany in 1980. Didn't get any snow :-(, but at least I saw a few flurries!  While we get lots of rain in this area (averages 55" a year!), it doesn't snow all that much. But, I can dream can't I? Now that I no longer have to worry about driving to work in such weather, I'm ready for a good snowstorm. Think the last time they had any significant snow in this area was the "Blizzard of 1993".

• In June, 2002, moved out of the "city" into the "country", a community called Coates Bend. Yep, you guessed it, it's situated in the middle of a big bend in the Coosa River. Moved into a beautiful, brand new 28'x64' three bedroom, two bath manufactured home (hope I didn't hear anyone saying "trailer trash"). Manufactured homes is the proper term these days - they are not trailers when they are this big and this nice!

They sure do build them a lot better than they used to and it has loads of amenities. The master bath is 10'x8' and includes both a shower and the garden tub shown below. The master bedroom is 17'x14', with enough room for my bedroom furniture plus my computer work area. Kitchen is loaded with cabinets - think I even have one or two nearly empty! The living room is a very nice size - and that fireplace is real stone. Living room looks even bigger because I use the formal dining area more as an extension of the living room. There's a nice sized area next to the kitchen for dining. Utility room has built in cabinets over the washer and dryer. It's a wonderful place to live in.

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It's nice and quiet out here (at least most of the time) and am loving it. Have seen several wild rabbits, but no deer so far. There's a lot of acreage around me with trees and fields of hay and cotton. All that open land is the reason for one of the things I don't like about living out here. Hunting seasons! When I start hearing a bunch of shots, figure a new season must have started. Apparently they are very into hunting out this way. The gunfire is a bit unnerving. Keep hoping that whoever is doing the shooting has not been drinking and is careful about where they're aiming. Don't want a bullet ripping though my place, believe me!

Why, you may be asking would anyone want to move from Southern California to Alabama? Well...you wouldn't be alone - get that all the time from the locals. And the answer is:  California has become too big and impersonal, the pace of life there is too fast to suit me, and the cost of living is too high. Wanted a place where I could enjoy my retirement at a more leisurely pace and where the cost of living wouldn't eat up all my money. Truthfully, if I had known I was going to be a grandmother, might have tried to stay in California so could be closer to all of them. We've been talking about all of us moving so we can all be closer and I can spend more time with Mira. Just haven't figured out where that will be or how we're going to pay to get there!

Am very interested in computers and love learning how to tinker with them and use different software. Once upon a time if someone had told me that would be case, I'd have said they were crazy. When I first attended a computer class (back in the good old days before hard drives!), I was positive I'd never, ever be able to figure out those contraptions. And for the first half hour or so, I was right. Had no clue what the instructor was trying to convey. Then, out of nowhere, a light went on, and it has never gone out when it comes to being able to work with computers.

As the years have gone by, have learned more and more and grown to enjoy almost everything to do with computers. Am not afraid to experiment and can install new hardware myself (and get it to work!). Now wish I'd taken the time to get some formal computer training so I could have worked in the field. But, you know what they say about hindsight! Was always too busy just trying to survive the day-to-day trials of living to find the time and energy to get the training. Those of you who've struggled to raise children pretty much on your own know exactly what I mean. . ."If only..."

Started making my own desktop themes a few years ago. It all began because I wasn't happy with some of the features in themes I'd downloaded which were created by others. Enjoy the challenge it presents and in the process have had to learn several different programs:  graphics editing; sound recording, mixing and editing; cursor creation; etc. Still have a long way to go to come up to the standards of some of the theme authors out there, but I continue to get better as my familiarity with the various programs increases.

Am one of millions of Americans (mostly women) who suffer from a chronic medical condition called Fibromyalgia Syndrome (FMS). This is a debilitating condition characterized by chronic pain in muscles and surrounding structures, fatigue, non-restorative sleep, headaches, numbness and tingling, joint pains, memory and concentration difficulties, depression, swelling sensation in hands, sensitivity to cold, and a few other "not-so-fun" symptoms. In the world of medicine, it's described as:  "a chronic, painful, musculoskeletal disorder of unknown etiology."

Unfortunately for those of us with FMS, there's no known cure. Since they don't even know what causes it in the first place, that shouldn't surprise anyone! It's "believed" there may be a genetic predisposition to FMS and it's triggered at some point in a person's life by a traumatic event. There is even speculation that FMS is composed of several different diseases with similar symptoms that can't be distinguished from each other.

But at least the medical world now knows FMS exists. They didn't even have standard criteria for diagnosing it until 1990. Previously people with this condition were told there was nothing wrong with them or it was all in their minds. And while treatment is still mostly a matter of trying to reduce the impact of the different symptoms, more research is being done to try to find a cure and more medications are being found that provide some relief.

FMS is considered a syndrome, not a disease. Basically that means that not everyone diagnosed with FMS has ALL of the symptoms, but certain ones are consistently present. For many people, it's a very severe condition. I'm one of the more fortunate ones as I have a relatively mild form. Those with more severe cases have been forced to quit their jobs, give up driving, perhaps be confined to a wheelchair and lose all ability to have any type of an active life.

On those days when I'm in the midst of a flare-up, try to psyche myself out by thinking that it could be so much worse. Does that count as "thinking positively"? When a lot of time passes between updates on this web site or responding to your email messages, one of the reasons is most likely the FMS. Some days just don't have the energy to do much of anything. Part of that is due to too many near sleepless nights, but chronic fatigue is a part of FMS all by itself, even with sufficient sleep.

If you or someone you love or know suffers from a number of the symptoms of FMS and the doctors haven't been able to determine what's wrong, I strongly recommend you request they be tested for FMS. Of course, other diseases still need to be ruled out, but there is a standard pressure point test that can help with a diagnosis if FMS is the culprit. For more information about FMS, here are some links for information and resources: